Saturday, October 12, 2019

Im Not an Original :: Writing Education

I'm Not an Original I sat back in the Lazyboy, Raydog shotgunned the couch, Scott rummaged the refrigerator, and Mike laid in bed. He'd been out cold since 2 AM, Super Bowl Eve. We were slothing our way through the seven hour pregame: Super Bowl XXXII, the Houston Oilers vs. the Tampa Bay Buccaneers; the results of free-agency and team salary caps. "Seeger, you know anyone with a white mini van that has a picture of a house on the side?" Scott was leaning over the sink trying get a glimpse of the vehicle pulling into our yard. I figured it out right away. The van that he was referring to just happened to be the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes vehicle. "Oh my god! Ed McMahon is at my house," were the only words I could utter. And I uttered them repeatedly as I broke out of the gates and down the track towards the door. Scott beat me there. He had the door open before the men in the black suits could give the infamous suprize knock. "Wha'd I win! Wha'd I win!" Scott was jumping around like a little kid before Christmas. "Is there a Mr. Beau Jay Seeger here?" "That's me!" I was sliding across the linoleum on my wool socks, my eyes ready to fall out of there sockets. "You've just won TEN MILLION DOLLARS..." is all I heard. My brain was thumping the rhythm of my heart, my toes were tingling in my eyes, my muscles were frigid under my skin, and I could not remember who or where I was. When I came around to reality I could hear Scott say, "If what?" I must have not been away from reality for more than a few seconds. The man in the black suit, who wasn't Ed McMahon, replied, "If you can show us that you are worthy of receiving this award." I was confused. I thought that they just gave you the balloons, flowers, and the million dollars. He saw the pitiful look on my face. It was as if he'd just pulled a sucker out of a baby's mouth. "Mr. Seeger, as the members of the Publisher's Clearing House, we are obligated to find someone who can communicate on a basis of individuality. We are distributors of a wide variety of various print manuscripts that circulate around our United States of America on a daily basis.

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